Thursday, December 24, 2009

white christmas

another christmas alone. i got a rice cooker! it's a kojirushi. that will make life easier because life is so hard isn't it? i am thinking about getting into archery. also, starting a one man band. not like those poor people. well actually, like those poor people, but i'll still have a job and won't live on the streets. i haven't been very inspired lately, but there is really no excuse to not compose entire songs by myself. i think it will be harder to find excuses once i own a house and can check that process off my list.

i am going out tonight to drink cheap alcohol. i am going to catch santa claus tonight if everything goes as planned.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

too much ice creams

who the f invented ice cream socials? i drank a heroic amount of vodka last night and woke up with this question in my head. for some reason, ice cream socials made me really angry this morning. i don't know why it made me angry. it seems like an ice cream social would be an enjoyable experience for all involved.

do ice cream socials exist? i don't think i made it up. i would be so proud if i did. brb, i'm going to rip the lid off of this.....................................wikipedia says: "Ice cream socials are a traditional gathering dating back to the 18th century in America. They were frequently organised by churches, fashioned after the "ice cream gardens" that were common in society at the time."

what is this now? ice cream gardens? why is this happening to me.

"...different flavors of ice cream arise from the ground with waffle cone stems. butterscotch fountains and pillars of chocolate are at the epicenter of these forgotten grounds. from the epicenter spiral graham cracker footsteps surrounded by m&m pebbles." i got that from the bible. revelations probably.

well, i answered my question and got my daily dose of blasphemy. since i don't have a job now, i am going on a quest for ice cream garden. that place must be el dorado for babies.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Friday, December 4, 2009

pics or not real

i went to see one of my kids at school for the last time yesterday. it sucked. i always enjoyed seeing that guy. his classmates knew me too because i would work with him in school. he is in a special class and the kids in there are pretty hilarious. i have a lot of good stories, but the last visit provided some good entertainment for me.

the kids were asked to draw a picture about christmas. they had free will to create whatever they wanted as long as it was christmas, or even winter, related. the teacher brought out the pictures they hadn't finished yet and was asking whose picture belonged to who.

here are some of the pictures that didn't follow directions. one of the pictures looked like two tree stumps about ten feet apart and one of them had a few bananas in proximity. another had a stick figure that looked like it was kicking. above it's head, it said "dog". one kid just drew two bazookas. there was one that looked like a pig that was on fire. my favorite one was a traced picture of charlie brown just standing in the bottom right corner and the word "dictionary" written all broken up across the top.

i'm going to miss those little ones.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

doin it real big

i'm sorry that i left you without a dope beat to step to. i have been struggling to get things done. normally i make s happen, but i have been running into some obstacles that take longer to overcome. i think that this is a good sign though because nothing worth having comes easy. so i guess that's my excuse for neglecting this.

i got a new job. it should be fun. i was offered the job and then two days later i got in big trouble at my current job. i told everyone that i was putting my two weeks in and everyone thought i was super mad at them. it was unintentionally metal.

you know what is weird? the american music industry. it is the only one i have kind of experienced up close so i don't know if others are better or worse. i assume some countries' markets may not be able to encourage arts as much as others. i think about it because i went to a show last weekend of one of my favorite bands. i was talking to the guitarist and he was informing me about the headlining band on the tour. i confessed that i don't listen to any of the other bands on the bill. he said that they were pretty big for a while and sold out the house of blues. apparently they had made it to the top and kind of fell off pretty hard. they used to have a sweet bus and were probably treated pretty well by their label. but since they fell, a lot of that was taken away.

i guess real musicians in the biz know that labels treat bands as investments and not much else. i think doing that is dumb. it seems like if you lose your marketability, you're done. that's if you ever started and made a lot of monies on the reg.

our market should reward creativity instead of popularity. i figure that the way things work right now reflect basic economics, but it would be cool to flip the script so that music can progress and inspire more humans. this way bands that deserve to be around can fly instead of driving twelve hours to a show and stay at a nice hotel instead of my floor. i appreciate the diy aspect that some bands take, but how many do it because they enjoy it and how many do it out of necessity? i guess those options aren't mutually exclusive either.

there are always people wanting a cut. would you feel proud taking money from a band who is struggling to stay afloat by taking a percentage of the money that they earned selling merch at your venue? i would feel like a failure who didn't earn that money legitimately. and that is one of the few examples that i have seen of people taking money that they didn't really earn. such a strange world.

here is something that amused me when it happened. (something along these lines)

matt: "hey bryan, can i ask a favor of you?" (holding out a bottle of gold bond tingling sensation lotion)
me: "i'm going to say no now because i don't like where this is going."
erik: "if you put that on a cat's balls it won't stop meowing."
ed: "didn't you put that on your balls once?"
erik: "yeah. i didn't meow though. i just sat there."

this reminded me of something i saw. i think it was on metalocalypse. someone was saying how they didn't think that cats had b's. this kind of paralleled my view on it because i think male cats are just weird. i mean, it's obvious that cats would need b's to procreate. (i just now realized that i am ninety percent sure that this was from metalocalypse). however, they must be almost non-existent due to the size of cats and lack of what i consider to be a manly attitude. i wonder how much testosterone male cats get? it is probably less than normal male creatures.

maybe they get a lot! like how steroids shrink your b's and tend to reverse things for the more feminine. yep, i'm still on the subject of cat b's. you thought i would end a while ago, huh? "how did this go from talking about getting a new job and the strange world of the music industry to cat tenders?" is probably what you are thinking. if you weren't then, you are now. well i caught you! i am still thinking about it because i don't like cats a lot and it is important to know your enemy.

i'll try to write more. that's if anyone still reads this.