i see pee!

i just realized the last like week that i am very happy to have good friends. nothing terrible happened that brought us all together or anything. i was just thinking about it when i was hanging out with some friends at a bar. in under two years, i have made a lot of friends here and they are all great in their own ways. and they're all brand new friends because i started with a clean slate when i moved up here. i pride myself on being pulled towards good people. i think a lot of people say that until they fight with a friend and end up hating them and not talking to them anymore. i know that something like that wouldn't happen with any of my friends.

one of my kids the other day kept telling me what he would do if he had the power to fly, control lightning, and was invincible. he said that he would end the war. when asked how, he said that he would kill anyone who wouldn't stop fighting. i told him that you can't just do that, powers or not. i described to him the story of dr. manhattan of the watchmen graphic novel. for those who don't know, he's the giant blue naked guy who glows. he can control matter and is used to win wars, but humanity feels uneasy about his unlimited power. humanity ends up hating him and he goes to live on mars all by himself. ultimately, the moral revolves around responsibility, the illusion of power, and free will. at least that's what i think. i hope i didn't crush this little guy's view on superheros. oops!

oh yeah, i think a lot of my friends know about the outrageous fact that i went to an insane clown posse show a few weeks ago. it wasn't for fun. my friend was in town and i wanted to see him, but he had to work at the show. he got me on the guest list +1 which was nice. he encouraged me to sell my other spot because it was a sold out show. i have never scalped tickets before and am not the type to just yell. especially when i'm wearing a shirt with a wolf on it around 50 or so idiots dressed like confused clowns outside the venue all hopped up on high fructose corn syrup and nicotine.

some dweeb was asking for tickets for himself and his girlfriend. i said i had one spot to get someone in. my buddy had encouraged me to get in soon, so i asked the kid how much money he had. he said he didn't have any. weird! an icp fan with no money. anyway, some lady gives him five pity dollars and i told him i'd take the five bucks since i have to get in soon. i wish i could have made enough to at least cover my parking, but oh well, it's five dollars that icp isn't getting.

during the show i was so uncomfortable. i didn't actually watch icp because even i have limits, but the fans were all there for the opening acts. i was standing by the bar in the corner far away from most of the action. while there, i saw three people do that wasted-walk-faster-to-get-there-before-you-pass out-move. they all failed and collapsed. something that i am sure they are used to. shortly after the second person collapsed, i felt a tiny bumping near my knee. i looked down to see what it was and it was a girl who had the shortest skirt i had ever seen bending over to tie her shoe. her entire b was hanging out and bumping onto me. startled, i jumped back and thought it would be funny to watch other people's reaction to this girl's b. all the girls were like "oh my god!" and would be shocked. all the guys stared. they had no shame. a few had their mouths open while they did it. i don't know if it was because they were stunned or if it is how they normally breathe.

later, a girl was going to the bathroom and a guy was following her. the security guard wouldn't let the guy in and he seemed to try and negotiate. it was funny because i couldn't hear what they were saying but the girl came back and tried to get the security guard to let him in. just then, a song ended and she kind of yelled "i need to show him my t's!" she didn't say t's though. the (female) security guard said it was ok. they just went around the corner for like a second and then came back out with smiles on.

a lot more crazy s went down, but i can tell you if you ask. i am tired of typing. i have things to do. you might not believe me. here is a picture though. i am not proud. can you believe these people exist? this is as close as i wanted to get to these amazing creatures. the light of my phone might have made them go berserk!


hahaha! update! nicole saw one of her friends with a black backdrop taking pictures of some of the kids at the show. here.

racist-ed

black lady sitting on her lawn: "hey are you guys twins or just both handsome?" (she was adressing me and one of my twelve year old kids who is blonde and taller than me)

me: "haha. we're twins"

black lady sitting on her lawn: "really?! are you serious?"

me: "no. we're not twins."

black lady sitting on her lawn: "well i don't know. you all look alike to me."

me: haha! (awkwardly)

have you ever seen this before?

just so i have more than one entry this month

i am giving serious consideration to buying a house that i viewed last week. it is farther away from things that i would like, but it does have four rooms and a cottage in the back. also, it is on a quarter acre. we will see. how are you? good i hope.

i am single again and it is a little weird. i haven't done it in a while and am getting back into the swing of things. i am still neglecting some things that someone like myself needs to focus on. it is still easy for me to be lazy. that needs to change.

my bike will be here tomorrow and i will be a bikesmith!

i thought of an idea for a music video today. it would be a bunch of those inflatable tubesmen watching a band perform and flailing around . i think that it could look cool slowed down or sped up depending on the structure of the song. plus they have better hair than most people.

now i have to contest a parking ticket that i was wrongfully given. oh hello, what's your name? the law? well you should f yourself. (that is a detailed synopsis of my letter).

nifs

i'm pretty much just scraping by when it comes to paying for my life. i am living from paycheck to paycheck and have limited life choices. it's okay though, i'm flipping the script and buying a house. this way, people will pay me to buy land for me. it is funny to me that that is a thing that can happen. everyone should do it. after i find a place, of course.

i have been planning ahead and thinking about home security. i don't think my two future pembroke welsh corgis (scraps and richardson) will be able to defend me from bikers on pcp who will obviously want to steal my land with their harley davidson flags.

i only started thinking about home security a few days ago. strangely, i came home last night and our back door was unlocked. some random lights were on, but everything else was turned off. our dog was acting like he heard things far away and i went into survival mode. i texted my roommate and told her that i will call her in five minutes and if i don't, to call the policemen. i took off my shirt (less to grab), and replaced it with my scariest face. also, i grabbed my biggest knife. nicole gave it to me for my birthday. i took off my jangly keys and hid them so no one could take my car if they got a hold of them. i searched every room and covered every angle. no one was there. silly me! i live for danger sometimes.

recently, i also tried guacamole for the first time. it isn't bad. it's weird, but provides a fresh zing to dishes such as nachos. keepitrealimout!

gimbles

i know, i've been neglecting you. i have been very busy. although sometimes it doesn't seem like it. this last month i was offered six jobs, maintaining the one i have now, working on music, undergoing the process of buying land, planning a vacation, and still trying to maintain a social life.

i've been gaining weight, which i'm tired of, but i'm also getting a bike soon, so that should slim me up a little. i have also really been into lemonade all of the sudden. it is a good summer drink. recently, i have been listening to bloc party. it is a pretty portland thing to do, but i think intimacy is a great album. sorry.

my vacation should be fun. i get to see our new dog for the first time ever, but we have had her since christmas. i was told that my mom would hold up a bell and the puppy would run up to it, touch it with her nose, and run away from the sound. i hope she still does that, because it is a fun game that i would like to play. we could take turns. we are going to my home town and then going to la. we are going to wrap up the trip by going to horse the band's cd release show. i am very excited about that since i haven't seen or heard those guys in like 2 years. i am buying gifts for the occasion.

last night i was drinking lemonade and vodka. it was fun. i took the bus so that i could drink. is it a rule if you're homeless that you have to sag your pants until everyone can see your butt? this seems to be popular. is it really hard to find a belt-like substitute? rope is a plentiful commodity. i'm sure there is rope in garbage cans and dumpsters. people throw it out all the time. newspapers that are received every day come wrapped in rope. i'm sure ross dress for less has thrown out useful belts. come on hobos. anyways, after drinking too much, i ended up on 82nd avenue. it is a dangerous avenue and full of uncertainty. i really wanted hostess donettes and bought some at 7-11. while walking down 82nd, i offered everyone donettes, because i was in a sharing mood. also, it helps to act crazy because no one will f with you. nobody wanted my donettes. not even gangsters. but everyone was nice.

a few days ago, i took one of my kids out for a visit. while in the car, he just showed me like 14 of the hairs from his head. he said "look, it's my hair." not surprised, i asked him why and he said "did you know you could just pull out your own hair?" i told him that i did, in fact, know that you could just pull out your own hair. he asked if he kept pulling large amounts of his hair, if his head would bleed. i told him that that was a strong possibility. he insisted on pulling one more single hair out. so in case you didn't know, you can just pull out your own hair. be careful with this new found freedom though.

yuk

picture what is in your stomach right now. isn't that gross?

hey dad

does anyone else here hate the classification of "life partners"?

what is up with pcp? i'm going to research it for fun.

another thing i researched recently was "the vapors". not the band, the fake ailment from the days of old. it is hilarious. it was the reason vibrators were invented. isn't that a weird fact?