ice cream, boners, and angel dust

oh wow. i was drunk last night. before i got blasted, i went to a movie with nicole. during a really quiet part, some girl was talking to the dude she came to the theater with. not like whispering, talking normally like an idiot would do. it was disruptive. anyway, i figured she would eventually realize that she wasn't clever in her tone of voice, and she stopped talking. about a half an hour later, she gets up and starts asking everybody questions during the movie. she would walk up to you and just start talking. she had a spiky, kurt russell style haircut and a rat tail/mullet that went really far down her back. her hair was also bright orange.

this cheeky b didn't talk to me or nicole which was a relief because she seriously talked to everyone else in the theater. also it was a relief because i was weighing the moral decisions of having to fight a woman because she was getting confrontational with some people. from what i could hear, she was asking people if they were ok with her standing with the exit door open so she could smoke and watch the movie at the same time. it took me a little while after this event to process what must have justified her being in this position and asking this question.

one of the dudes she asked told her to get away and not talk to him. she went back to sit down just to stare and point at him. he got up and i assumed he went to get security. she lit a match and a cigarette. she then threw the lit match on the carpet. she turned around and said "if anybody has a problem with this, stand up now". she had really good timing because right after she said that, five dudes, the manager, and a security guard surrounded her and told her that she had to leave. she was too scared to throw a fit and was escorted out.

nicole and i got our money back and a free movie. the manager was a cool dude. so that was a weird like 45 minutes.

we went back to her place to get crunk and listen to shitty music from the internet. on the way back, we discussed the most ridiculous drug combinations. we agreed on ice cream, angel dust, and viagra. i imagined finding someone on those things as a police officer and decided what i would do. seeing someone with a b and j's ice cream cone, fluttering their fingers in front of their eyes with a full on boner at a gas station would result in me putting my arms akimbo, and shaking my head with a tiny smile. i would say that guy is living life the best way he knows how. i would then listen to "i will always love you" by whitney houston and later yell at minorities.

i drank until my nose and legs felt numb, got a little sad, got poked in the eye with two fingers at once, and had a "where the s am i?" moment. it was good night.