for now..we toast

we witnessed a pathetic crime last night. kernal, wolfgang, and a few coworkers and i went to f'in shari's last night. if you've never been to one, good for you. anyways, we were all sharing stories and eating what i guess was food. there was a group of really cool teens across from us and they were being really funny by yelling and making a bunch of noise because they felt like it. some would go outside to smoke cigarettes, so you better not have a problem with it. they smoked cigarettes because they could, and you can't do anything about it, so don't even try to stop them from smoking cigarettes.

anyway, while we were all talking, i just heard a lot of movement and saw someone's long hair dissapearing around the corner to the exit. we all looked at eachother and realized that they didn't pay their bill. wolfgang went to tell the manager and kernal and i went searching for acne's 11.

one of the kids left their jacket on a chair. we walked around and didn't see anyone running, so we circled the building. the manager was with us and we noticed a nerd in the bushes behind the building. i knew that it was one of the kids and probably the one who left his jacket. he was going to use high tech thief tools to infiltrate shari's and retrieve his jacket, and no one would have ever known. the waitress came out to identify him and tried to make him feel bad by reminding him that it was an 84 dollar bill and that the economy sucks. he said he didn't know what happened and didn't know where his friends were. he really looked retarded and kernal, in her professional and just kind human manner felt bad for him thinking that his friends left him behind. i, like a jerk, thought he was lying and just coming back for his jacket.

he was outside and surrounded by everyone when kernal decided to call the cops. he threatened that he was going to "settle" the situation and i wanted to see what that meant. i grabbed his jacket from inside and brought it to the manager. the kid grabbed it from me and i wanted to punch him but didn't really have a reason so i didn't. i thought i made a huge mistake by bringing his jacket back, but in retrospect it was probably a good idea.

once he got his jacket, he just started walking away instead of waiting for the cops. we all followed him and one of his friends came out of the winco next door and looked really cool because he was smoking a cigarette. they walked together for a few seconds and i told wolfgang who was next to me that she should be ready to run. the two just started running and wolfgang and i ran after them. the manager told me not to chase them, but i wasn't really chasing them for him. kernal stayed behind because the manager had her phone and she said it would be better if she wasn't around to witness what might have gone on.

so i chased the two around a corner and was really hoping that all of the teenagers were waiting for me around the bend. it could have been my moment! they were waiting around the corner, but in a truck. two girls screamed and the guys hopped in the back of the truck. i memorized their license plate and watched them leave. i went back and told the manager the license plate and car model while he told the police. in return, we all got a card for a free slice of pie. that pie will remind me of failure.

it's my professional opinion that i need to keep my angry bees (rage) in check. i have always done really well in that department, but these last few weeks have been trying. every time my angry bees get riled up in my tummy and adrenaline starts flowing, my bees say "go for it!" my brain turns into a stoned loser that responds with "wait, what man?" and then giggles. come on brain, we can do it! put down those funyuns and let's outsmart those bees next time.