i have been too busy to write about this earlier, but it is too funny to be omitted. our foul mouthed little client tried to attack one of his peers on friday. we had to put him in a hold and take him to another empty unit. we let him free on the other unit and he would punch staff in the genitals. it is undecided whether he does this because it matches his height or because he is an evil guy.
he found a wash cloth and took it to the sink to get it wet. once it was soaking wet, he would hit us with it. i'm glad he didn't know how to use it as a whip. i tried to play tug of war with him as a distraction when i got a hold of the wash cloth. it worked for a little bit, but he grew tired of it. after a while, the kernal and i just hung out in the office with the door locked. this upset the tiny one, so he did what anyone would do.
after he took off his sweatpants, he started climbing the office window. it was ok he still had on a shirt with a picture of a golden retriever puppy that said "man's best duck hunter". so staff and i were discussing what we were going to do while a tiny dong was at our eye level. he finally got down, but was saying that he had to go to the bathroom. i told him i could let him in. he told me to f off and stood in front of the door that i needed to use to get out. i told him that if he would let me out, i could let him in the bathroom. he swore some more and said that he would go right there. he peed all over the floor in front of the office door and then continued to walk around with his shirt on, but no pants. it was hard to take him seriously when he swore and called us a holes. eventually, he was completely naked for a while, but we got him to calm down with some clothes and gogurt. the kernal's favorite of his quotes is this one: "i want my fuckin gogurt, i want to fuckin kill myself, and i want my fuckin diet soda!" i guess the order (concerning both the request and time received) is irrelevant?
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