another christmas alone. i got a rice cooker! it's a kojirushi. that will make life easier because life is so hard isn't it? i am thinking about getting into archery. also, starting a one man band. not like those poor people. well actually, like those poor people, but i'll still have a job and won't live on the streets. i haven't been very inspired lately, but there is really no excuse to not compose entire songs by myself. i think it will be harder to find excuses once i own a house and can check that process off my list.
i am going out tonight to drink cheap alcohol. i am going to catch santa claus tonight if everything goes as planned.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
too much ice creams
who the f invented ice cream socials? i drank a heroic amount of vodka last night and woke up with this question in my head. for some reason, ice cream socials made me really angry this morning. i don't know why it made me angry. it seems like an ice cream social would be an enjoyable experience for all involved.
do ice cream socials exist? i don't think i made it up. i would be so proud if i did. brb, i'm going to rip the lid off of this.....................................wikipedia says: "Ice cream socials are a traditional gathering dating back to the 18th century in America. They were frequently organised by churches, fashioned after the "ice cream gardens" that were common in society at the time."
what is this now? ice cream gardens? why is this happening to me.
"...different flavors of ice cream arise from the ground with waffle cone stems. butterscotch fountains and pillars of chocolate are at the epicenter of these forgotten grounds. from the epicenter spiral graham cracker footsteps surrounded by m&m pebbles." i got that from the bible. revelations probably.
well, i answered my question and got my daily dose of blasphemy. since i don't have a job now, i am going on a quest for ice cream garden. that place must be el dorado for babies.
do ice cream socials exist? i don't think i made it up. i would be so proud if i did. brb, i'm going to rip the lid off of this.....................................wikipedia says: "Ice cream socials are a traditional gathering dating back to the 18th century in America. They were frequently organised by churches, fashioned after the "ice cream gardens" that were common in society at the time."
what is this now? ice cream gardens? why is this happening to me.
"...different flavors of ice cream arise from the ground with waffle cone stems. butterscotch fountains and pillars of chocolate are at the epicenter of these forgotten grounds. from the epicenter spiral graham cracker footsteps surrounded by m&m pebbles." i got that from the bible. revelations probably.
well, i answered my question and got my daily dose of blasphemy. since i don't have a job now, i am going on a quest for ice cream garden. that place must be el dorado for babies.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
pics or not real
i went to see one of my kids at school for the last time yesterday. it sucked. i always enjoyed seeing that guy. his classmates knew me too because i would work with him in school. he is in a special class and the kids in there are pretty hilarious. i have a lot of good stories, but the last visit provided some good entertainment for me.
the kids were asked to draw a picture about christmas. they had free will to create whatever they wanted as long as it was christmas, or even winter, related. the teacher brought out the pictures they hadn't finished yet and was asking whose picture belonged to who.
here are some of the pictures that didn't follow directions. one of the pictures looked like two tree stumps about ten feet apart and one of them had a few bananas in proximity. another had a stick figure that looked like it was kicking. above it's head, it said "dog". one kid just drew two bazookas. there was one that looked like a pig that was on fire. my favorite one was a traced picture of charlie brown just standing in the bottom right corner and the word "dictionary" written all broken up across the top.
i'm going to miss those little ones.
the kids were asked to draw a picture about christmas. they had free will to create whatever they wanted as long as it was christmas, or even winter, related. the teacher brought out the pictures they hadn't finished yet and was asking whose picture belonged to who.
here are some of the pictures that didn't follow directions. one of the pictures looked like two tree stumps about ten feet apart and one of them had a few bananas in proximity. another had a stick figure that looked like it was kicking. above it's head, it said "dog". one kid just drew two bazookas. there was one that looked like a pig that was on fire. my favorite one was a traced picture of charlie brown just standing in the bottom right corner and the word "dictionary" written all broken up across the top.
i'm going to miss those little ones.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
doin it real big
i'm sorry that i left you without a dope beat to step to. i have been struggling to get things done. normally i make s happen, but i have been running into some obstacles that take longer to overcome. i think that this is a good sign though because nothing worth having comes easy. so i guess that's my excuse for neglecting this.
i got a new job. it should be fun. i was offered the job and then two days later i got in big trouble at my current job. i told everyone that i was putting my two weeks in and everyone thought i was super mad at them. it was unintentionally metal.
you know what is weird? the american music industry. it is the only one i have kind of experienced up close so i don't know if others are better or worse. i assume some countries' markets may not be able to encourage arts as much as others. i think about it because i went to a show last weekend of one of my favorite bands. i was talking to the guitarist and he was informing me about the headlining band on the tour. i confessed that i don't listen to any of the other bands on the bill. he said that they were pretty big for a while and sold out the house of blues. apparently they had made it to the top and kind of fell off pretty hard. they used to have a sweet bus and were probably treated pretty well by their label. but since they fell, a lot of that was taken away.
i guess real musicians in the biz know that labels treat bands as investments and not much else. i think doing that is dumb. it seems like if you lose your marketability, you're done. that's if you ever started and made a lot of monies on the reg.
our market should reward creativity instead of popularity. i figure that the way things work right now reflect basic economics, but it would be cool to flip the script so that music can progress and inspire more humans. this way bands that deserve to be around can fly instead of driving twelve hours to a show and stay at a nice hotel instead of my floor. i appreciate the diy aspect that some bands take, but how many do it because they enjoy it and how many do it out of necessity? i guess those options aren't mutually exclusive either.
there are always people wanting a cut. would you feel proud taking money from a band who is struggling to stay afloat by taking a percentage of the money that they earned selling merch at your venue? i would feel like a failure who didn't earn that money legitimately. and that is one of the few examples that i have seen of people taking money that they didn't really earn. such a strange world.
here is something that amused me when it happened. (something along these lines)
matt: "hey bryan, can i ask a favor of you?" (holding out a bottle of gold bond tingling sensation lotion)
me: "i'm going to say no now because i don't like where this is going."
erik: "if you put that on a cat's balls it won't stop meowing."
ed: "didn't you put that on your balls once?"
erik: "yeah. i didn't meow though. i just sat there."
this reminded me of something i saw. i think it was on metalocalypse. someone was saying how they didn't think that cats had b's. this kind of paralleled my view on it because i think male cats are just weird. i mean, it's obvious that cats would need b's to procreate. (i just now realized that i am ninety percent sure that this was from metalocalypse). however, they must be almost non-existent due to the size of cats and lack of what i consider to be a manly attitude. i wonder how much testosterone male cats get? it is probably less than normal male creatures.
maybe they get a lot! like how steroids shrink your b's and tend to reverse things for the more feminine. yep, i'm still on the subject of cat b's. you thought i would end a while ago, huh? "how did this go from talking about getting a new job and the strange world of the music industry to cat tenders?" is probably what you are thinking. if you weren't then, you are now. well i caught you! i am still thinking about it because i don't like cats a lot and it is important to know your enemy.
i'll try to write more. that's if anyone still reads this.
i got a new job. it should be fun. i was offered the job and then two days later i got in big trouble at my current job. i told everyone that i was putting my two weeks in and everyone thought i was super mad at them. it was unintentionally metal.
you know what is weird? the american music industry. it is the only one i have kind of experienced up close so i don't know if others are better or worse. i assume some countries' markets may not be able to encourage arts as much as others. i think about it because i went to a show last weekend of one of my favorite bands. i was talking to the guitarist and he was informing me about the headlining band on the tour. i confessed that i don't listen to any of the other bands on the bill. he said that they were pretty big for a while and sold out the house of blues. apparently they had made it to the top and kind of fell off pretty hard. they used to have a sweet bus and were probably treated pretty well by their label. but since they fell, a lot of that was taken away.
i guess real musicians in the biz know that labels treat bands as investments and not much else. i think doing that is dumb. it seems like if you lose your marketability, you're done. that's if you ever started and made a lot of monies on the reg.
our market should reward creativity instead of popularity. i figure that the way things work right now reflect basic economics, but it would be cool to flip the script so that music can progress and inspire more humans. this way bands that deserve to be around can fly instead of driving twelve hours to a show and stay at a nice hotel instead of my floor. i appreciate the diy aspect that some bands take, but how many do it because they enjoy it and how many do it out of necessity? i guess those options aren't mutually exclusive either.
there are always people wanting a cut. would you feel proud taking money from a band who is struggling to stay afloat by taking a percentage of the money that they earned selling merch at your venue? i would feel like a failure who didn't earn that money legitimately. and that is one of the few examples that i have seen of people taking money that they didn't really earn. such a strange world.
here is something that amused me when it happened. (something along these lines)
matt: "hey bryan, can i ask a favor of you?" (holding out a bottle of gold bond tingling sensation lotion)
me: "i'm going to say no now because i don't like where this is going."
erik: "if you put that on a cat's balls it won't stop meowing."
ed: "didn't you put that on your balls once?"
erik: "yeah. i didn't meow though. i just sat there."
this reminded me of something i saw. i think it was on metalocalypse. someone was saying how they didn't think that cats had b's. this kind of paralleled my view on it because i think male cats are just weird. i mean, it's obvious that cats would need b's to procreate. (i just now realized that i am ninety percent sure that this was from metalocalypse). however, they must be almost non-existent due to the size of cats and lack of what i consider to be a manly attitude. i wonder how much testosterone male cats get? it is probably less than normal male creatures.
maybe they get a lot! like how steroids shrink your b's and tend to reverse things for the more feminine. yep, i'm still on the subject of cat b's. you thought i would end a while ago, huh? "how did this go from talking about getting a new job and the strange world of the music industry to cat tenders?" is probably what you are thinking. if you weren't then, you are now. well i caught you! i am still thinking about it because i don't like cats a lot and it is important to know your enemy.
i'll try to write more. that's if anyone still reads this.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
i see pee!
i just realized the last like week that i am very happy to have good friends. nothing terrible happened that brought us all together or anything. i was just thinking about it when i was hanging out with some friends at a bar. in under two years, i have made a lot of friends here and they are all great in their own ways. and they're all brand new friends because i started with a clean slate when i moved up here. i pride myself on being pulled towards good people. i think a lot of people say that until they fight with a friend and end up hating them and not talking to them anymore. i know that something like that wouldn't happen with any of my friends.
one of my kids the other day kept telling me what he would do if he had the power to fly, control lightning, and was invincible. he said that he would end the war. when asked how, he said that he would kill anyone who wouldn't stop fighting. i told him that you can't just do that, powers or not. i described to him the story of dr. manhattan of the watchmen graphic novel. for those who don't know, he's the giant blue naked guy who glows. he can control matter and is used to win wars, but humanity feels uneasy about his unlimited power. humanity ends up hating him and he goes to live on mars all by himself. ultimately, the moral revolves around responsibility, the illusion of power, and free will. at least that's what i think. i hope i didn't crush this little guy's view on superheros. oops!
oh yeah, i think a lot of my friends know about the outrageous fact that i went to an insane clown posse show a few weeks ago. it wasn't for fun. my friend was in town and i wanted to see him, but he had to work at the show. he got me on the guest list +1 which was nice. he encouraged me to sell my other spot because it was a sold out show. i have never scalped tickets before and am not the type to just yell. especially when i'm wearing a shirt with a wolf on it around 50 or so idiots dressed like confused clowns outside the venue all hopped up on high fructose corn syrup and nicotine.
some dweeb was asking for tickets for himself and his girlfriend. i said i had one spot to get someone in. my buddy had encouraged me to get in soon, so i asked the kid how much money he had. he said he didn't have any. weird! an icp fan with no money. anyway, some lady gives him five pity dollars and i told him i'd take the five bucks since i have to get in soon. i wish i could have made enough to at least cover my parking, but oh well, it's five dollars that icp isn't getting.
during the show i was so uncomfortable. i didn't actually watch icp because even i have limits, but the fans were all there for the opening acts. i was standing by the bar in the corner far away from most of the action. while there, i saw three people do that wasted-walk-faster-to-get-there-before-you-pass out-move. they all failed and collapsed. something that i am sure they are used to. shortly after the second person collapsed, i felt a tiny bumping near my knee. i looked down to see what it was and it was a girl who had the shortest skirt i had ever seen bending over to tie her shoe. her entire b was hanging out and bumping onto me. startled, i jumped back and thought it would be funny to watch other people's reaction to this girl's b. all the girls were like "oh my god!" and would be shocked. all the guys stared. they had no shame. a few had their mouths open while they did it. i don't know if it was because they were stunned or if it is how they normally breathe.
later, a girl was going to the bathroom and a guy was following her. the security guard wouldn't let the guy in and he seemed to try and negotiate. it was funny because i couldn't hear what they were saying but the girl came back and tried to get the security guard to let him in. just then, a song ended and she kind of yelled "i need to show him my t's!" she didn't say t's though. the (female) security guard said it was ok. they just went around the corner for like a second and then came back out with smiles on.
a lot more crazy s went down, but i can tell you if you ask. i am tired of typing. i have things to do. you might not believe me. here is a picture though. i am not proud. can you believe these people exist? this is as close as i wanted to get to these amazing creatures. the light of my phone might have made them go berserk!
hahaha! update! nicole saw one of her friends with a black backdrop taking pictures of some of the kids at the show. here.
one of my kids the other day kept telling me what he would do if he had the power to fly, control lightning, and was invincible. he said that he would end the war. when asked how, he said that he would kill anyone who wouldn't stop fighting. i told him that you can't just do that, powers or not. i described to him the story of dr. manhattan of the watchmen graphic novel. for those who don't know, he's the giant blue naked guy who glows. he can control matter and is used to win wars, but humanity feels uneasy about his unlimited power. humanity ends up hating him and he goes to live on mars all by himself. ultimately, the moral revolves around responsibility, the illusion of power, and free will. at least that's what i think. i hope i didn't crush this little guy's view on superheros. oops!
oh yeah, i think a lot of my friends know about the outrageous fact that i went to an insane clown posse show a few weeks ago. it wasn't for fun. my friend was in town and i wanted to see him, but he had to work at the show. he got me on the guest list +1 which was nice. he encouraged me to sell my other spot because it was a sold out show. i have never scalped tickets before and am not the type to just yell. especially when i'm wearing a shirt with a wolf on it around 50 or so idiots dressed like confused clowns outside the venue all hopped up on high fructose corn syrup and nicotine.
some dweeb was asking for tickets for himself and his girlfriend. i said i had one spot to get someone in. my buddy had encouraged me to get in soon, so i asked the kid how much money he had. he said he didn't have any. weird! an icp fan with no money. anyway, some lady gives him five pity dollars and i told him i'd take the five bucks since i have to get in soon. i wish i could have made enough to at least cover my parking, but oh well, it's five dollars that icp isn't getting.
during the show i was so uncomfortable. i didn't actually watch icp because even i have limits, but the fans were all there for the opening acts. i was standing by the bar in the corner far away from most of the action. while there, i saw three people do that wasted-walk-faster-to-get-there-before-you-pass out-move. they all failed and collapsed. something that i am sure they are used to. shortly after the second person collapsed, i felt a tiny bumping near my knee. i looked down to see what it was and it was a girl who had the shortest skirt i had ever seen bending over to tie her shoe. her entire b was hanging out and bumping onto me. startled, i jumped back and thought it would be funny to watch other people's reaction to this girl's b. all the girls were like "oh my god!" and would be shocked. all the guys stared. they had no shame. a few had their mouths open while they did it. i don't know if it was because they were stunned or if it is how they normally breathe.
later, a girl was going to the bathroom and a guy was following her. the security guard wouldn't let the guy in and he seemed to try and negotiate. it was funny because i couldn't hear what they were saying but the girl came back and tried to get the security guard to let him in. just then, a song ended and she kind of yelled "i need to show him my t's!" she didn't say t's though. the (female) security guard said it was ok. they just went around the corner for like a second and then came back out with smiles on.
a lot more crazy s went down, but i can tell you if you ask. i am tired of typing. i have things to do. you might not believe me. here is a picture though. i am not proud. can you believe these people exist? this is as close as i wanted to get to these amazing creatures. the light of my phone might have made them go berserk!
hahaha! update! nicole saw one of her friends with a black backdrop taking pictures of some of the kids at the show. here.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
racist-ed
black lady sitting on her lawn: "hey are you guys twins or just both handsome?" (she was adressing me and one of my twelve year old kids who is blonde and taller than me)
me: "haha. we're twins"
black lady sitting on her lawn: "really?! are you serious?"
me: "no. we're not twins."
black lady sitting on her lawn: "well i don't know. you all look alike to me."
me: haha! (awkwardly)
have you ever seen this before?
me: "haha. we're twins"
black lady sitting on her lawn: "really?! are you serious?"
me: "no. we're not twins."
black lady sitting on her lawn: "well i don't know. you all look alike to me."
me: haha! (awkwardly)
have you ever seen this before?
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